Life Goes On

You may have been wondering silently to yourself these past few months, “What has C. L. Kay been up to?” Well the short answer to this question is A LOT!

Life has a way of dictating things with it’s own logic and twists and turns. If you’re lucky, you can move fearlessly forward, swept up in its unknowable genius. You may not always end up where you thought you would but you definitely will always end up exactly where you need to be. This is the story of 2012 for me thus far.

Aside from being a few months away from a publishable draft of my book baby, The Bloodsong Swords (fingers crossed for a spring release), I’m also around five months away from bringing a flesh and blood baby into this world! Emerging into motherhood has changed just about everything from my daily routine to my frame of my mind to my thought process. Having another human being that will soon depend on me for his or her every need has underscored the necessity of finishing my book and launching my career as a fiction writer.

I’ll leave you with a wonderful quote I came across the other day that explains it all:

The Finish Line

If you have been reading this blog for any number of months then it will be no news to you that I have what I call a discipline problem. I set goals then wait until the last possible minute to achieve them. If I miss a goal, I extend the deadline. Perhaps it’s a learned behavior from my formative years as a bright student in sub par public schools. It was never necessary for me to put any major effort into the work because I could do everything it took in the last few days and come out of the challenge with top grades.

The glaring matter at hand is my goal to complete the first draft of my novel by, well, yesterday. This obviously was another instance where I put my goals to the wayside in favor of less scary and less intense activities.

Let’s face it--writing fiction is difficult.  Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or diluted. Throwing your mind, your body, your consciousness into a fictional dimension, completely immersing your thoughts and actions into an abstract reality, is completely disorienting. My experience is such, at least. Maybe it isn’t that daunting for some. Maybe those writers can easily switch their frame of being from fiction to reality with more ease than I can. If so, I applaud and admire them.  However, it takes a lot of energy and fortitude for me. 

I don’t believe in excuses, only choices. And it was my choice to be lazy with writing in January. I know that specific choice was not helpful for publishing my book. But hey, everyone needs a hiatus now and then. It’s behind me. I got it out of my system. It is time to quit my sightseeing detour and move forward down the path. The finish line is in my sights.

2012

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. I, for one, have enjoyed stepping away from my fiction for a time and spending time with friends and family that I put on the back burner while pursuing publication.

As 2011 comes to end, I cannot help but reflect on the year as a whole. A lot has happened to me both inside and out. I took the effort to make this blog a priority. I helped start a writer’s group with two amazing and talented individuals that has become a cornerstone of my writing progress. I drummed up all the moxie I had and began seriously writing my first novel. I participated in National Novel Writing Month and discovered a potential that I never knew existed inside of me. I have released that little goblin living inside my head that whispered doubts in my ear and infused me with fear of failure.

I will reap all the benefits of these actions in 2012. By mid to late summer, my first book, The Bloodsong Swords, will arrive. My fiction baby will have been birthed, reared, and grown prepared to face the world on its own two feet. I know that not everyone will like it. I just hope that more people like it than not. 

It is an exciting story full of colorful characters and places that span over 1,900 years.  There are gangsters—a lot of gangsters—vying to fulfill an ancient prophecy and they all have supernatural powers. If I had a gun to my head, I would call it science fiction, but really, it is so much more than that. It is in essence an urban science fiction historical action thriller. Obviously, genre bending is going on in all directions. 

I dedicated December to my day job. Retail work takes on a completely new level of insanity during the holidays and I have had little free time to write. January will be a very important month. I still need to finish my first draft. Then the editing and rewriting begins. I am going to make a bold statement and say that 2012 will likely be the most important and pivotal year of my life. By the time 2013 rolls in, I will have transformed from an aspiring writer to a self-published author and life will never be the same again.

I want to thank everyone who has followed my journey thus far. I wish everyone an exciting and safe New Year’s celebration. Cheers to 2012!

Why The Sacrifice Is Worth It

Writing is a solitary activity. Do it consistently and your laptop will become your best friend. You’ll clasp your notebook like a security blanket. You’ll wear black for days at the loss of your favorite pen. You’ll eat many meals out of Styrofoam containers. You’ll forget what household chores are.  And you’ll spend little to no time with the people you love.

You’ll receive angry texts, curious emails, and plenty of phone calls asking, “what’s up with you?” or “where have you been hiding?” If you’re lucky, you’ll explain that it’s nothing personal, that you've been committed to your writing goals, and your loved ones will accept that and proudly support you.  If you’re unlucky, feelings will be hurt and ties will unbind. You may even find yourself half a pint deep in a tub of ice cream asking “is all this worth it?”

The answer is incontrovertible: YES.

Everyone has dreams and desires, goals and plans, but few have the courage to restructure their lives in the profound ways necessary to achieve them. One day, with a copy of your book in hand, you’ll look around and notice those standing with you. Those loved ones believed in you, stood by you, and comforted you during your self-imposed isolation. You’ll owe them undying gratitude and be all the richer for it. 

Baggage has no place in a writer’s life besides on the page. I can no longer focus on what was. I’m taking baby steps on my path with eyes locked on the future. I’m planting seeds, making connections, and watching new life grow. I’m listening to that quiet voice deep inside me that yearns to tell stories. It grows louder with each day. I simply refuse to feel guilty about dancing to my own tune. 

I’m offering a sincere and heartfelt thank you to every single person out there that is supporting my dream. If you’re reading this, you’re definitely one of them. THANK YOU.

National Novel Writing Month

I've done it! I am an official participant in NaNoWriMo 2011!  While I am both excited and terrified about the prospect of compiling a 50,000 word novel during the month of November, I know it's the right thing to do. This endeavor will force me to complete my work in progress and rid me of my bad habit of editing as I go. My strategy is to pace myself at 1700 words per day to make things more manageable.

If you're already a member, please feel free to add me as a writing buddy. You can find my profile here.

I will definitely keep you updated on my process during November. Wish me luck and cheers to shitty first drafts.

The Flip Side

I often hear unpublished writers say that they are fearful of the process or that people will not like their work. It is true that there will be people out there who won’t like what you have to offer. This is true for everything from art to politics to science. Someone will be there to voice their dislike. It’s simply human nature to be opinionated. This is what gives our world such immense diversity and color. 

Why not focus on the flip side of this?

There will always be someone who enjoys your work! It is now easier than ever to reach millions of people with minimal effort. The numbers game alone dictates that there will be people out there who will connect with your stories. Put those fears aside and deliver something. In time you will build your brand and with it your audience. 

On that note, I have a novel to finish! So I’ll leave you with this quote from Sylvia Plath: