Stalemate

As you may know, a revised draft of my primary novel-in-progress was read and reviewed by a group of trusted beta-readers. While all agree that the story concept is good and the action engaging, there is a certain lack of empathy toward some of the characters. Particularly toward an individual who is essential to the story's conclusion.

I couldn't help but wonder how characters that I'm so invested in and in love with have come across unlikable on the page. Luckily, one of my readers tackled both drafts of this story. She pointed out that I edited the heart out of my novel. It lost its magic. I cut and trimmed so much of what I assumed were extraneous details that I left my characters naked. They lacked critical back story, motivations, and reasoning in the second draft.

So I find myself in a stalemate. My creative/receptive side is in a proverbial stare down with my logical/critical side. It is obvious now that this tale is bigger than what my two planned novels can handle. I am going to continue to work on the conclusion and reanalyze the project as a whole upon completion. Perhaps it is a trilogy after all--as much as the cliche irks me.

It is difficult to quell the inner goblin after receiving constructive criticism. Especially since this revelation means I will again have to push back my publication date. So in the mean time I'm working on a different story as well as painting. I think it is wise to step away from what is vexing me and refill my subconscious.

The Importance of Being Yourself

Many people adhere to the idea that fitting in is better than standing out. I was one of them. I suppressed all of my creative inclinations so that I might be accepted by those around me who didn't hear the drum beat I did. I actually hung out with people who dimmed my inner light in the hopes that perhaps it would eventually die and I could be just like everyone else and no longer the butt of jokes, the weird one, the bitch.

I've been told I had my head in the clouds. I've been told I act like a child simply because I haven't allowed life to kill my imagination. I've been told I'm uncool, uptight, different. You name it.

Through it all, my inner fire remained (some days burning brighter than others) until one day I let it warm me instead of trying to extinguish it. Little by little, I kindled the flame until it burned bright. The past five years have been about shedding skins, evolving, being myself. I've become a mother, a novelist, and soon a self-published novelist. I've removed obstacles to my success be it people, places, or things. I'm still stoking the flames but am now comfortable in my own skin, proud of my ideas, thrilled with what it will bring in the future.

Last night I finalized the cover design for my debut e-book, the manuscript is nearly ready for a professional copy edit, and I'm ready to crack a bottle of champagne. None of this would be possible if I'd listened to anything other than my inner wisdom, my creative flame. I've gained infinitely more than I lost just by being myself.

How Sharing Stories Can Help You Connect

As an artist, I always tend to be my harshest critic, my biggest bully. No story is good enough. No turn of phrase impactful enough. No word just right. It has taken me quite a few years to feel confident enough to share work. I recently joined the fold on Wattpad--a story sharing site hosting a spectrum of tales from tween fan faction to highly renowned authors like Paulo Coelho.

Wattpad is fun. It is first and foremost a community of story lovers; readers and writers alike. You can post short or long stories, serials that you update weekly, or novel-length work. There are groups to join and loads of inspiring and fun stories to discover. You can "vote" on any work simply by clicking the star icon on the page to show you liked it. You can also comment on any section of work and converse with the authors. All in all, it is a great platform to connect with an audience.

I invite you all to join in.  Read my work. Post your own work. Or simply connect with others who love stories as much as you do. Hope to see you there!

The End

Fifteen years after a horrifying dream left its imprint on my psyche, 9 years after I used that dream for a short story assignment in college, and 4 years after my attempts to edit that story ballooned into a novel of proportions beyond my skill set, I have completed the first draft of The Bloodsong Swords.

It is gloriously flawed and virtually unreadable. It is wrought with redundancies, with instances told rather than shown, with cliché turns of phrase, and info dumps. But within that are magical moments. Characters with yearning. Unique settings. There is a story that wants, indeed demands, to be told. 

My goal is to weed out all of the mundane and amateur and present to the world a version of this story worth telling. I feel obligated to do justice to the people and places that have lived in my unconscious mind for all these years. There is a lot of work left to do and I will admit that I am dreading the mountain of rewrites. There are points of view to eliminate, scene after scene in need of fresh envisioning, an entire restructuring.

Typing "The End" is only the beginning. I am up to the task even if I do feel like I'm in over my head. I've come to enjoy the writing process that once terrified and frustrated me. I can finally call myself a novelist. Up next: published novelist.

Still In The Game

Hello, readers. Obviously, it has been quite a long time since I posted an update. Don't worry. I am still in the game. In fact, I'm more motivated now than I have ever been. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in January. My focus has been dedicated to my brand new family and my new identity as a mother.

Becoming a parent completely altered my perception. Things that once mattered to me have now become nothing and things that once were nothing now mean the world. Caring for a brand new human being that relies on me for just about every single need has really put life into perspective.

My family comes first. My writing comes second.  Everything else is obligatory. I've cut out people, places, and things that don't jive with my current priorities and energy. I want to be the best woman I can be as a role model to my son. This includes following through on my passion for story-telling and becoming as successful as my talents merit.

I am currently working on two novels and a short story that I am entering into a genre contest this autumn. I recently attended a 90-minute seminar on creating an e-book. I have plans to build a website. Unfortunately, this blog falls to the wayside quite easily. Since I don't yet have anything to offer besides my personal insights, it doesn't seem quite as urgent.

I plan to post some free stories very soon. I will likely be revamping more of the design of this virtual space in the very near future. It is all very exciting! There is a lot to do and I have the greatest motivation that life can provide--a son who has already developed a fun and dynamic personality that I love beyond measure. 

The Finish Line

If you have been reading this blog for any number of months then it will be no news to you that I have what I call a discipline problem. I set goals then wait until the last possible minute to achieve them. If I miss a goal, I extend the deadline. Perhaps it’s a learned behavior from my formative years as a bright student in sub par public schools. It was never necessary for me to put any major effort into the work because I could do everything it took in the last few days and come out of the challenge with top grades.

The glaring matter at hand is my goal to complete the first draft of my novel by, well, yesterday. This obviously was another instance where I put my goals to the wayside in favor of less scary and less intense activities.

Let’s face it--writing fiction is difficult.  Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or diluted. Throwing your mind, your body, your consciousness into a fictional dimension, completely immersing your thoughts and actions into an abstract reality, is completely disorienting. My experience is such, at least. Maybe it isn’t that daunting for some. Maybe those writers can easily switch their frame of being from fiction to reality with more ease than I can. If so, I applaud and admire them.  However, it takes a lot of energy and fortitude for me. 

I don’t believe in excuses, only choices. And it was my choice to be lazy with writing in January. I know that specific choice was not helpful for publishing my book. But hey, everyone needs a hiatus now and then. It’s behind me. I got it out of my system. It is time to quit my sightseeing detour and move forward down the path. The finish line is in my sights.

2012

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. I, for one, have enjoyed stepping away from my fiction for a time and spending time with friends and family that I put on the back burner while pursuing publication.

As 2011 comes to end, I cannot help but reflect on the year as a whole. A lot has happened to me both inside and out. I took the effort to make this blog a priority. I helped start a writer’s group with two amazing and talented individuals that has become a cornerstone of my writing progress. I drummed up all the moxie I had and began seriously writing my first novel. I participated in National Novel Writing Month and discovered a potential that I never knew existed inside of me. I have released that little goblin living inside my head that whispered doubts in my ear and infused me with fear of failure.

I will reap all the benefits of these actions in 2012. By mid to late summer, my first book, The Bloodsong Swords, will arrive. My fiction baby will have been birthed, reared, and grown prepared to face the world on its own two feet. I know that not everyone will like it. I just hope that more people like it than not. 

It is an exciting story full of colorful characters and places that span over 1,900 years.  There are gangsters—a lot of gangsters—vying to fulfill an ancient prophecy and they all have supernatural powers. If I had a gun to my head, I would call it science fiction, but really, it is so much more than that. It is in essence an urban science fiction historical action thriller. Obviously, genre bending is going on in all directions. 

I dedicated December to my day job. Retail work takes on a completely new level of insanity during the holidays and I have had little free time to write. January will be a very important month. I still need to finish my first draft. Then the editing and rewriting begins. I am going to make a bold statement and say that 2012 will likely be the most important and pivotal year of my life. By the time 2013 rolls in, I will have transformed from an aspiring writer to a self-published author and life will never be the same again.

I want to thank everyone who has followed my journey thus far. I wish everyone an exciting and safe New Year’s celebration. Cheers to 2012!

Parallel Earth (Alternate History)

Alternate history fiction (also known as alternative history, allohistory, or uchronie) is a subgenre of fiction that takes place in our world, yet has strayed from our actual history. This subgenre usually has a science fiction, literary fiction, or historical fiction emphasis and has been in use since as early as the 4^th century. Considering my personal science fiction bent, I prefer to call this subgenre Parallel Earth—the story takes place on Earth, but Earth of a parallel Universe where things are not quite like the Earth we live on. 

As a massive fan and writer of Magical Realism (the most popular current form of which is Urban Fantasy)—fiction that takes place in our real world but contains fantastical or magical elements—using a parallel Earth as a setting loosens up the boundaries and provides a wider range of fantasy elements for use. I have in fact created an entirely fictional Midwestern city so that I am not shackled by actual geography.

Working on a novel with characters that are centuries old has depended almost entirely on strategic divergence from the actual history of civilization in small ways. With 10 protagonists, 5 antagonists and 19 secondary characters that fill out my story, it makes for a lot of research. I have been very conscious of having these changes make sense and in many cases logically link up with actual developments in Earth’s history. I’ve done quite a bit of brushing up on ancient Roman history and culture and will have plenty more to do with several isolated times and places as referenced by the origins of my large cast of characters.

How do you readers out there feel about stories that take place on a parallel Earth?  Are you distracted by historical inconsistencies? Or do you welcome a view into what might be rather than what is?

Why You Should Ignore The Goblin

I stumbled across this evocative image today: a typewriter craftily morphed into a hungry looking mechanical creature that appears ready to gnaw the fingers right off of unsuspecting hands. It comes courtesy of an amazing sculptor from Oakland, CA by the name of Jeremy Mayer  (More of his amazing creations can be found here).

The moment I saw this angry fellow I had two reactions. The first was to laugh at the cleverly constructed character. The second was to cringe at how often I envision my laptop is staring up at me with that same expression. These days writing feels like more of a chore than it should. 

The annoyed little creature I see in my mind begs the question “what am I doing wrong?”  Should I start writing at a different point in the story?  Is there more research needed before I can move forward?  Or should I simply scrap this project in favor of different material?

Perhaps some wisdom lies in the Hogwarts' Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson from third year teacher Professor Lupin. Just like the riddikulus charm used to defeat the boggart, I will imagine my writing goblin wearing a funny hat and laugh it into submission. If that doesn't work, the least I can do is ignore it.

It’s All In The Name

The most fulfilling and rewarding part of being a fiction writer for me is when the characters I’ve birthed begin to walk on their own two feet.  Once I have them firmly realized, they always speak and operate in ways I had not previously conceived.  It’s as if they begin to breathe and act of their own volition and now guide me to where they want to go instead of me forcing them into my perceptions of how they should act.

In the birthing phase, I reflect a lot on the type of person I want the characters to be in order to have an engaging story.  This can include personality traits, physicality, quirks, psychological state, moral code, family background, education, social status and all the rest.  Though for me, the name is most important thing.  Once I have named a character, place or group, I’ve given it a specific energy.  There is much power in a name.  I like using unusual or unlikely names for characters.  Most importantly, the name must encapsulate the aura and essence of the character.

The opening paragraph of Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita is Humbert Humbert’s treatise on the power of the nymphet’s name.  And let’s not neglect to mention the connotations of such a name as Humbert Humbert.  Villains’ names are the most fun for me to create.  Some of the most memorable fictional names come from villains.  Lord Voldemort, Darth Vader, Professor Moriarty. 

The act of naming gives power and life to the idea of the character.  It is akin to spiritual ceremony.  Once the Rite of the Name is complete, the subjects rise into their own authority.  While the idea of the character is the body, the name becomes the breath and blood that animates it.

It’s A Slow Journey (And I Don’t Care)

It seems like an eternity since I have written for this blog. And no wonder. With one measly follower and not a lot of writing going on, what could I possibly have to say and to whom? Nevertheless, some changes have occurred. So why not throw it out there?

I recently picked out an old story from my earliest days at Columbia College with the intention of polishing it and submitting it to any publication I thought might want it. As soon as I began editing, an entire new world presented itself. Characters appeared out of the ether and situations never previously conceived flashed in my mind’s eye. “Write this down,” they begged. “Give us life.” And so it has become a mission for me to spend time with these characters, get to know them, and tell their story. Consequently, it’s a slow process but just like the Confucius quote I recently read, "it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."

I will not stop. I’ve spent far too much time questioning my talent and the market and the supposed impossibilities of making a good living as a fiction writer. I’ve adopted a strict I-really-don’t-care attitude and it suits me. I’ve stopped beating myself up and comparing myself to others. The blinders are on and my resolve is set soley on finishing this book. By this time next year I’ll be in the money, making a comfortable living doing what I love.

The second point I’d like to make here is that anyone out there thinking ebooks and epublishing is just a passing fad needs to wake the heck up. It is the present and the future of publishing. In fact, as you read this, the entire publishing paradigm is taking on a new shape and I refuse to be left behind. I highly suggest that anyone who is serious about writing to do your research on this. There are lots of fantastic opportunities, particularly for new authors hitting the scene. Don’t say I didn’t give you heads up.